Fathers teach their children many things and in many ways. Sometimes they teach by example and sometimes by parable, but always fathers teach what they value…what matters most to them. My father taught me that home matters.
As a child everyone I was related to lived, with only rare exception, in the same town; the same five mile radius, actually. Those relatives who had ventured out of town were expected to come home at holidays. We did not go to them. It wasn’t even considered. Holidays at home mattered.
I grew up knowing the homes in town by the families who lived in them, most often having built them, and 
my family was no exception. Every family home had a pen and ink drawing of it hanging on the wall. Homes were the trademark of the family; the tangible evidence of belonging.
After my parents wed they moved in with my father’s mother until my father could build their marital home…next door. My folks moved into our new home when I was six months old and it is the home all three of us children were raised in until we left as adults. That home was planned down to the last tiny detail by my father, who oversaw its’ design and construction. Every room was planned around how his growing family would use it; a child’s bedroom near the master bedroom for the newest arrival, an upstairs bedroom large enough to serve as a playroom but with back stairs to the breakfast room, the better to call us to a meal in our pajamas. There was a library for study and games, a sunroom with the perfect place for a Christmas tree and a formal dining room large enough for dinners with extended family and guests.
Our home was filled with furnishings passed down from family through generations. Every piece had sentimental value and we children were taught the provenance of each. It mattered that we knew which great grandparent, which grandparent had owned each item, how they had procured it and where it had stood in their home.
I grew up watching my father care lovingly for our home. I knew what architectural features were his favorites and how they were constructed and maintained. I learned how to care for a home with the change of seasons and I watched him plant the garden and plan our future. Our home mattered because his family mattered.
When I bought my first home at the age of twenty-three, my parents immediately began to pass on family possessions to me in order to make my new house a home. I had just made my lifetime career choice. I was a newly minted real estate agent. What else would I have done? My father didn’t suggest I become a Realtor but what better choice of career is there for someone who was taught from birth how very important a home is to a family.
By my father’s loving words and patient example he handed me my family's history as well as my future. Home matters. I miss you Daddy, give Mother a big hug for me.
It's Simple...When You Have A Great Agent!
SarahGray Lamm is a licensed, full time, residential real estate professional in the Raleigh Durham area of North Carolina with over 60,000 hours of experience. She specializes in serving the real estate needs of home sellers, home buyers and investors in Chapel Hill, Carrboro, Durham and Northern Chatham County and is proudly associated with Allen Tate Realtors, the Carolinas #1 independent realty company.
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Thank you to all my AR friends who sent messages wondering where I had gone...it meant the world to me.
The lessons we learn as a child and the guidance and morals that are offered mold us. Obviously Dad did a great job when you can offer up a few special words that illustrate how to do it right. Thanks for sharing.
Sarah,
What a touching story! That should be on your website in the about me section! There is no way I can duplicate what your father and his family have done, but I can start to concentrate on those values with my children.
Thank you
What a beautiful tribute to your father. . .he did a good job on you
SarahGray, What a nice story. It makes us feel like we are there. Your last paragraph brought tears to my eyes. Wishing you the best this holiday season.
SarahGray, thank you for reminding us of a core value we should have working in real estate, helping others find their home or move from one if it becomes necessary. What greater calling could a person have than to help others with their housing needs. Blessings to you this holiday season.
SarahGray, a very nice tribute to your Father. Your parents raised a good Daughter. Thanks.
What a wonderful post ... a great way to come back to "our" happy home here at AR.
Featured in the Group Whacked!!!
SarahGray....I have that same Daddy! I have seen first hand that children with dads are so much further ahead than those without. I could have written that post....with some minor changes to the locations, but I was raised by the words:
"Home is the Dearest spot on earth, and it should be the center, but not the boundary of the affections" from a wonderful book I own.
Sarah - this is one of the most beautiful posts I've read. Thank you so much for sharing it with all of us. Your father was an amazing man. I'm sure you miss him and your Mom. Both of my folks are on the other side but somehow they're with me all the time. Aren't we lucky to have had such great parents. I am one of theose grateful folks who truly understands the value of HOME. I'm home.
Sarah Gray- It is my humblest pause to tell you my regrets on losing your father. May your vivid post and many more continue to your tribute. All the best to your family
Sarahgray, what a beautiful tribute to your father. My father passed away 30 years ago and I still miss him. He too taught me the value of family and home. I'm sure the hurt is raw, but I'm sure too that your greatful to have had wonderful Dad and a wonderful legacy that he left you.
What a touching and beautiful tribute to your father, SarahGray. I'm sorry for your loss and pray that you be comforted through this difficult time. Your father passed on his heart and beliefs to you and you carry them with you, and honor your parents, through your life and the people you touch.
When I was much younger, my grandmother passed away. I never knew my grandfather as he died when my father was still a child. I was so sad at my grandmother's funeral until my aunt (her daughter) looked at me in surprise and said, "Don't be said for Grandma, Tanya. She's upstairs dancing with Grandpa right now." That changed my whole outlook on it. Sarah, I know it is all the more painful when it is a parent who passes, but I hope you can take some comfort in knowing that your parents are once again together. Thanks for sharing such a great tribute to your dad. -- Tanya in Montreal
Thank you SarahGray for the beautiful post. I was fortunate to have a step father come into my life when I was in the 7th grade. I could not have loved him more if he were my own flesh and blood. There was such peace and security in knowing that there was a man in my life that would do anything in the world for me and our family. He passed away in 2000 and I think of him every single day and know he is still watching our family. I pray that the Lord will comfort you.
SarahGray You could not have written this post if you had not been reared in a lovingly, warm family environment. It is difficult, I know, but the memories you expressed in htis post will always be there for you to call upon when necessary as will all of the others. In that respect your parents will never have left you in spirit - they saw to that years ago
SarahGray: Your father must have been proud of you ... as he most assuredly should have been. He raised a daughter that was loving and respectful to him and the things he held dear. You are a living tribute.
While having wonderful parents is a blessing ... it also makes losing them that much harder. They, and what they provided to your life, can never be replaced. While you are in the initial stage of mourning, please know that time does soften the pain and you will get through it. The memories you have live on and provide great strength and comfort.
This was so beautifully written. I, like others, could just exchange a few details and have it be my own. Thank you for these beautiful expressions. Remain strong through the holidays ...
Gene