SarahGray Lamm ~ Chapel Hill / Carrboro / Durham Real Estate Blog ~ Agent Outlier

Dear Buyers,

I appreciate the many hours of effort you and your agent have put forth to negotiate your offer on my listing. I truly did not mind that I had to spend the first two days of my beach vacation inside on the phone and computer working out the finer points of a deal acceptable to both you and my clients.  It was a pleasant back and forth and my sellers were happy to meet your terms and you got a great deal on a great property.

So here's the part that bugs me...YOU PULLED OUT OF THE DEAL this morning with nothing by way of an explanation except we changed our minds...

Your agent is embarrassed, my seller is very disappointed and I have lost two days of my much needed vacation. 

I wish I could say this was the first time this has happened this year but it seems to be becoming the norm. Did you just think it would be fun to see if you could negotiate a real estate purchase contract? Were you bored this weekend?

Your agent and I DO NOT need the practice! We are very good at what we do and we represent our clients with integrity and skill. We worked hard for you. We are used to taking care of the myriad details that need to be managed in order to get you to your stated goal...that of homeownership...with no compensation until the date of closing. So were you simply kidding when you said you wanted to buy a house?

I'd love to understand what was going on in your mind during what turned out to be nothing more than an exercise for you. But more than that I'd love for you to understand that there are real PEOPLE involved in this process. People who trusted you when you said you wanted to buy, people who dropped everything to make it happen on your schedule, people who began making plans to accomodate your desires.

I wish I could say I was furious about this but I've reached the point where this has happened so often lately that I have no emotion about it when the call comes in except sympathy and regret for my client who was so happy just 12 hours ago and empathy for your agent who felt compelled to assure me that he didn't see this coming and would never have let it happen if he had had a clue you weren't committed to buying.

I think I will go stare at the ocean now. There was a reason I needed a vacation and you have simply reminded me, yet again, what it was.

Have you seen the Geico commercial about how you’d have to be living under a rock not to know what’s going on? Same goes for real estate - sellers would have to be living under a rock not to know that there is something up in real estate.  In my experience, most sellers are NOT living under rocks. That’s why they call a professional when they are thinking about selling.

They call us because they need an honest, forthright assessment of how their situation is affected by the contradictory headlines and media stories they are bombarded with daily. They call us because they want help, reliable help, with deciding how they should proceed.  They call us because they want the truth about what they are up against: in their neighborhoods, in their price ranges, in their market areas. They need to know what they can truly expect should they decide to jump into the swirling water that is real estate in 2011.

I read a lot about how agents should be willing to walk away from an unrealistic seller. Why spend marketing dollars on a listing you know will never sell? I also hear how some agents feel they should go ahead and take an overpriced listing and “teach” the seller what they need to know about the market by letting them get kicked around by buyers agents and buyers who will show them what they “don’t want to hear” from their own agent…like that the house is overpriced, not in good condition or not in high demand.  I feel strongly that neither of those scenarios works in the best interest of a seller who calls me because s/he really wants to hear the truth. Telling a seller the unvarnished truth about what is going on in the market in general and in their community and neighborhood in specific is the ONLY thing that works in their best interest. The TRUTH is neither good nor bad. It is simply the facts and conditions as they exist for each specific seller.

When I go on a listing appointment I am armed with everything I know about the home and neighborhood.  I have local, regional and national information that will help a seller understand EXACTLY what it will take to sell their home.  I have graphs and charts and marketing information and systems but MOST IMPORTANTLY I am prepared to listen. I need to know WHY they are exploring the option of selling and what they hope to accomplish. After I completely understand those two things we run the numbers on different scenarios and discuss their options. Once they have a truthful assessment of their situation, if they are still positive that moving forward with a sale is the right thing for them to pursue, we can then get down to the nitty gritty of discussing the listing and preparation of their home for marketing.

I have walked away happily from more than one potential listing this year WITHOUT a listing, knowing that, with my help, the sellers made the RIGHT decision for themselves. Some chose to rent their home, some chose to renovate (on which I will gladly consult to ensure the home remains sale-able in the future) and some chose to stay put.  Many more chose to sell. Those sellers are the ones who are not only in a great position to do so but they are ready for the challenge and excited about their opportunities.

If what you really want is for the seller to make the best decision for their personal situation you won’t need to worry about competing for the listing when the time is right for them to sell, you will have earned it.

My favorite part of my real estate career has always involved teaching my clients what I know about real estate. So I suppose it isn't much of a stretch to figure I would also love teaching new agents how to be the best at their new career. There are some who might figure that now, the strangest time we have seen in real estate in quite some years, might not be the best time for a new agent to begin a career in our industry. I beg to differ.

As my mentor told me when I began my career in 1980 and prime rate hit a high of 21%, “you don't know what it was like to sell real estate before this so how can it get in your way now?”

Granted, the entry level materials are a little more expensive. I had my newly minted brokers license along with a pad of paper, a nice pen and an HP calculator. Today a new agent needs a license, a computer and software plus at least six months of living expense tucked away.

But the most important thing I had was my mentor. He was also my broker-in-charge. He set me on the right path from day one and I have never looked back. I sold houses with 16, 17, 19 or 21% interest rates because I didn't know that was impossible. He is still a dear and trusted friend.

Today I am the mentor. I am thrilled to be part of the start of a new agent's career. There is absolutely nothing in the buying and selling process I will not include them in with my client's permission. I know that many real estate agents are generally loathe to share their “secrets of success” but I prefer to think of it as adding future value to our industry. I have always shared techniques, skills and experiences with colleagues, inside my company and out, and I can't say I have ever been put at a disadvantage or lost a client because of it. If you are a great agent there is plenty of business to go around.

I'm training a new agent these days and I know that I will continue to take opportunities to do so for a long time. The fun of doing it may even extend my “retirement”, when that day comes, because I really only do this for a living for one reason...I love it and I want to help others love it too.

There is one little selfish reason though. At the end of an eight hour day last week, when my first time home buyers, my new agent and I were debriefing after a long day of looking at homes, the new agent was ready to take her leave of us. She turned to the buyers and thanked them for allowing her to be included. Then she said “You have a great agent!” They beamed and said “We know.” After 30 plus years in this ever changing, always interesting industry; I know how to take a compliment.

I have a very special group of clients who show up in Chapel Hill every May. I've worked with them for many years now and I cannot tell you how much I enjoy them. Living in a university town has lots of perks but for me one of the best one is the opportunity to work with the young medical residents coming to the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill every year to begin their specialized studies in obstetrics and gynecology.

Every spring is a blur for me as I work non-stop for several weeks getting the incoming residents into homes appropriate for their new lives. Many have spouses or soon-to-be spouses who come with them and quite a few of them will begin families during the four years they are here so, in addition to being affordable and reasonably close to the hospitals, they need all the things in a home that a growing family requires. They have a very small window between "matching" (the process by which they are notified that they have been accepted into the program at UNC) and starting their residency. In a matter of weeks they must find a home, close on it, move to North Carolina, set up housekeeping and take a much needed break between med school and the non-stop intensity of residency. I also make it a point to educate them on how to care for the home in order to make sure they can sell it as quickly as they had to buy it.

At the same time I am diligently working to get the homes of the outgoing class on the market so they can go on to their next phase of life and career. My four year commitment to them includes being their point of contact for anything they need done on their home (their schedules do not permit interviewing and waiting around for contractors and repair folks) and culminates in making sure they have the smoothest possible sale at a time when they are once again going through major life changes.

It is exciting to be part of this time in their lives. I have enjoyed their friendship and meeting many of their proud parents; folks my age who are just so grateful to know that someone is available to assist their child with a transition that is difficult at best, even when it isn't taking place hundreds or thousands of miles away from home. It is also a time of very mixed emotion for me as I know that my only contact with many of the outgoing class will be via Facebook, birth announcements and holiday cards.

So this year I sent out an e-vite to one and all and invited them to bring their families and come on over to my house for an afternoon bar-b-que. What a blast we had! I fully intended to take pictures and brag to you all about what wonderful people they are, how beautiful their children are and what great successes they will be in their careers.

But something happened as they all came through my front door. They were just so happy to be together (let's just say down time is at a premium for them) and so inspiring to talk to and so RELAXED that I simply wanted to soak up the moment and not spend it recording it on film for others. What good is served by documenting that they made time to come hang out with their Realtor, that they enjoyed each others' company, that they may have had an adult beverage on a hot day? Some things are not for public consumption.

There are many of their generation who choose to share their lives in very public ways via all manner of social media. These young folks have chosen to share their lives in a way that truly serves their communities and I, for one, want to allow them whatever privacy they can possibly maintain. For me that means not even asking them if I can post pictures of them...I simply chose not to even take them!

My email this morning contained a truly disheartening message...the Executive Director of my local Board of Realtors has found it necessary to convey the following:

It has come to the Association's attention that sellers are being asked to sign post-dated contracts to April 30 so buyers can take advantage of the Homebuyer Tax Credit.

This is an illegal practice and constitutes fraud.

The North Carolina Real Estate Commission will be posting information about this issue through Facebook and Twitter later today.

I am appalled. This would never have occurred to me...never. I am not naive and have been practicing North Carolina real estate for over 30 years. Which part of “our reputation and integrity is everything” are some folks missing here?

Now, I am quite sure this is not just something a North Carolina agent cooked up and sadly, I am sure, now that I think about it, that there were plenty of folks across the country who probably counted on doing this all along. Shame on them.

I have spent the first 4 months of this year working as hard as I have ever worked to ensure that those buyers who wanted to take advantage of the Homebuyer Tax Credit got every opportunity to do so, up to and including referring them to another agent in order to get the job done for them. I'm tired. To find out that I have colleagues (and I use that term loosely) who would suggest or consider engaging in fraud in order to accomplish what I have accomplished, just makes me mad.

How humiliating that Facebook and Twitter will now be used by the NC Real Estate Commission to get the word out to “the world” that some real estate practitioners have no integrity and would even consider compromising their clients and jeopardize their transactions.

Once they have slammed the door of your jail cell don't call me for sympathy. I'm fresh out.

I was going to begin a new marketing strategy this week because it has always seemed so successful for other Realtors.

Then I saw this article by Sam Cone in today's Onion called I Wasn't Going To Buy This House Until I Saw The Realtor's Headshot On The Sign. I think he might be joking but I wanted your opinion. Should I go with my new strategy?

I have lots of young clients who accomplish awesome things. This young woman ranks really high on my list of courageous people. She works for Duke University as a scrub nurse and was invited to accompany a team of Duke doctors and nurses who went down to Haiti to assist the victims of the horrendous earthquake for 10 days. She didn't hesitate to say yes. Her family and friends supported her decision and her two young daughters have another reason to know their mom is a hero.

She isn't the one talking in this video, she is the one in the ladybug scrub cap and you will never recognize her on the street. But I know her and I'm really proud to say I do.

Back in August I had a featured post which was about a wonderful blog I had run across from a real person...a young woman by the name of Molly who blogged about her search for a new home in Charlotte, NC. It was a great read and many of you stopped by her blog and subscribed to hear the rest of her tale.

It was disappointing (but terribly understandable) that with everything going on in her life PLUS a home search, she wasn't posting minute by minute updates for us eavesdropping real estate agents, in her unique style, about every detail of her experience...would have LOVED to follow that!

Well, Molly did find a home! She eventually posted a short blog that indicated she had moved in.

Then the unthinkable happened. On December 29, 2009, her new home was broken into and her beloved beagle was injured in the process.

I'm sick for her. She is very, very angry and it has colored how she looks at things. Who could blame her? She posted her first blog article of the new year about the experience and she called it Horrible. It is horrible...and I wish we could make it better.

Maybe a little moral support is in order and a prayer or two that she regains some of the "new home bliss" that was robbed from her along with the television. Realtors can surely understand better than most how much she has been violated.

By now I'm sure you've heard that we will have a "Blue Moon" tonight, New Years Eve. How cool is that? We not only get a new year and a new decade but we get an extra moon...a blue moon...to boot!

We use the term Blue Moon more often nowadays than the names of the other  twelve moons. The Harvest Moon is probably the second best known. There's the Hunter Moon and the Gibbous Moon. Are you surprised to know that the Egg Moon is around Easter?

The moon won't really be blue. That only happens, well, once in a blue moon. To make the moon appear truly blue you need an atmospheric influence like, say, the eruption of Krakatoa in 1883. But this "extra moon" is called a Blue Moon. Back when the calendar was aligned with the seasons and based on the phases of the moon (moon = month) folks planted and harvested crops based on the appearance of the Early, Mid or Late Moon in a season. Based on the calendar year, a Blue Moon (or a month with two moons) comes along about every 2.8 years more or less. That extra moon (or the third moon in a season with four if you prefer the seasonal way of doing things) was called a Blue Moon so as not to have to rename the Late Moon. That doesn't make them quite as rare as a truly blue moon but still...a Blue Moon on New Years Eve hasn't happened since 1990 and won't happen again until 2028.

So tonight we have an extra full moon, the second one of December 2009. Heaven knows we can certainly use a little something 'extra' to make 2009 memorable for more than loss, economic hardship, wars, crazy folks and ne'er-do-wells.

I'll take a beautiful full moon on the very last night of the year and hope it bodes well for us all. Here's hoping your blue moon turns to gold in 2010 - just like the song says!

Reference: Folklore of the "Blue Moon"

Fathers teach their children many things and in many ways. Sometimes they teach by example and sometimes by parable, but always fathers teach what they value…what matters most to them. My father taught me that home matters.

As a child everyone I was related to lived, with only rare exception, in the same town; the same five mile radius, actually. Those relatives who had ventured out of town were expected to come home at holidays. We did not go to them. It wasn’t even considered. Holidays at home mattered.

I grew up knowing the homes in town by the families who lived in them, most often having built them, and my family was no exception. Every family home had a pen and ink drawing of it hanging on the wall. Homes were the trademark of the family; the tangible evidence of belonging.

After my parents wed they moved in with my father’s mother until my father could build their marital home…next door. My folks moved into our new home when I was six months old and it is the home all three of us children were raised in until we left as adults. That home was planned down to the last tiny detail by my father, who oversaw its’ design and construction. Every room was planned around how his growing family would use it; a child’s bedroom near the master bedroom for the newest arrival, an upstairs bedroom large enough to serve as a playroom but with back stairs to the breakfast room, the better to call us to a meal in our pajamas. There was a library for study and games, a sunroom with the perfect place for a Christmas tree and a formal dining room large enough for dinners with extended family and guests.

Our home was filled with furnishings passed down from family through generations. Every piece had sentimental value and we children were taught the provenance of each. It mattered that we knew which great grandparent, which grandparent had owned each item, how they had procured it and where it had stood in their home.

I grew up watching my father care lovingly for our home. I knew what architectural features were his favorites and how they were constructed and maintained. I learned how to care for a home with the change of seasons and I watched him plant the garden and plan our future. Our home mattered because his family mattered.

When I bought my first home at the age of twenty-three, my parents immediately began to pass on family possessions to me in order to make my new house a home. I had just made my lifetime career choice. I was a newly minted real estate agent. What else would I have done? My father didn’t suggest I become a Realtor but what better choice of career is there for someone who was taught from birth how very important a home is to a family.

By my father’s loving words and patient example he handed me my family's history as well as my future. Home matters. I miss you Daddy, give Mother a big hug for me.